So apparently we're having a baby... and soon!

Yep - according to the experts the bun in the oven is sufficiently cooked, and the new addition to our family could arrive any time now. Officially the due date is September 11, but who knows?

The baby is clearly ready, as this video from about a month ago attests..

To be honest, I'm kinda starting to freak out about it. Not in the what-else-is-there-on-the-to-do-list-before-baby-arrives way. More on the conceptual level. I'm going to be a dad. Again. Our family is now going to be four people, not three. Charlie's going to be a big brother. That sort of stuff; big picture stuff.

Until now we've been focussing more on the immediate challenges that come with having a baby in a foreign country.

The language barrier is the obvious one. Being able to communicate with... well, just about anyone Indonesian. About when they baby is being born, where, how, with whom.  Doctors, midwives, concerned well-wishers. I'm relieved that Kai speaks a reasonable amount of Bahasa Indonesia, as I just don't have the language skills to understand all the questions, let alone provide meaningful answers. I can order food, ask for an provide directions, book a ticket on a plane, or train or even get somewhere in a taksi. But fat lot of good that will do me in an emergency. The idea of being unable to represent Kai's wishes and needs if anything should go wrong... that's more than a little scary. And with about two weeks to go before B-day, there's not a whole lot of time to learn. 

Another challenge has been the fact that, according to the Central Statistics Agency survey from 2010, "only 1.2 million, less than one percent, Indonesian people are Rh negative", so Anti-D (look it up if you don't know) is only available by import and therefore expensive - $200+ for a shot they give for free in Australia - and finding a willing donor in case of emergency was something to worry about, now fortunately sorted.

How about finding a midwife and doctor who support your own belief in birth being a perfectly natural process, requiring intervention only when things are going wrong? That's a problem anywhere, but in Indonesia (and presumably most developing countries madly chasing their own perception - perhaps as much as 20 years out of date - of 'how they do it in the West') , it was even more of a challenge.

Thankfully the midwife part is sorted. We found an amazing bidan - midwife - based in Klaten, a town a little over an hour's drive north east of where we are living. Bidan Kita - loosely, our midwife - is a small practice run by an amazing woman who teaches meditation and hypnotism as tools to reduce pain of labour. She's rather more out-there and mystical than Kai or I, but we are comfortable and reassured with her as our midwife.

Doctors - not quite. The one doctor we were recommended by a German-Indonesian couple turns out to be be very much of the 'I am the expert, I know best' model. And has all the personality of a brick wall. This doctor works at what is widely regarded as the best rumah sakit (literally, sickness home, or hospital) in town, which is reassuring, but seems to be quite at odds with the non-intervention (unless necessary) model that we aspire to. Kai has visited an alternative hospital and given it the thumbs up, but we have not yet met the doctor there who is apparently a little more in tune with our vibe.

Rencana A (plan A), as previously discussed, is for a birth at home, ideally in water. That requires a bath. A bath which we've ordered and were promised 10 days to delivery, about 14 days ago. Problems from the manufacturer's supplier, or some such. Getting nervous.

A car we have planned to have on standby for all of September, because taking a labouring woman to the hospital (if needed) on a scooter is, while comical, perhaps not a smart idea. Not yet confirmed.

Cloth nappies - also a rare thing over here.

And so on. It's these details that mean you don't really have the time or headspace to contemplate the gravity of what's about to happen.

We have done our best to prepare Charlie for big brotherhood, and I'm confident he is as ready as any child can be ahead of such a massive upheaval. His affection towards the bump is one of the sweetest things we've ever seen.

Right now we have a Dad somewhat slowly realising what's about to happen, a Mum battling Braxton-Hicks and nasty leg cramps who is basically over the whole pregnancy thing, and a fair few pieces of the plan yet to fall into place. There's much to be excited about, but we're in now rush.

Besides, I haven't made enough use of baby shelf yet.

Not sure how much blogging there will be between now and the bub arriving, and perhaps expecting even less than that afterwards, at least for a little while as we adjust to being a family of four. But in the meantime, just know that we are all reasonably healthy, happy, and basically just excited. Sure, having a baby here is at times scary and challenging. But all in all we are just looking forward to meeting anak dua (child number 2).

I'll conclude with a picture of a random statue in honour of breastfeeding, which I stumbled upon not far from Charlie's playgroup. I have absolutely no idea if this is outside a village midwife or just randomly placed. But it made me feel reassured that pregnancy and childbirth and motherhood and parenthood are universal, and that as a team, our family will be fine.

Home life

Hey. How's it going? It's been a while. Sorry about that.

In short, life's been good. Definitely 'living' in Jogja these days. It really doesn't feel a holiday any more. And that's perhaps the main reason I've not been updating the blog very regularly. We experience so much every single day that might be extraordinary for folks back in Australia, but having been here for six and a half months, they just don't strike us as being unusual. Because of this, I'm not really sure what I've logged on to write about. Saya tidak punya rencana - I don't have a plan.

Perhaps I'll just put some photos up, in date order, and see if the story tells itself.

We're coming towards the end of dry season. Counter to my preconception of the tropics, the dry season is actually incredibly dry. Hardly any rain. Perhaps two significant downpours in three months, and maybe only another 3 or 4 showers - at least, down here in Tembi. Maybe closer to the volcano in the north they get more rainfall (courtesy of the orographic effect - one thing I actually remember from high school geography!). But down here in the village it seems drier than Canberra. Consequently, the staff do spend some time watering the garden. Here's a pic of Charlie helping out, in the lush surrounds of Yabbiekayu.

Here's an early evening shot from early July, of the sawahs behind out house, resplendent and green with tall rice almost ready for harvest, with clouds gathering along the mountain ridge to the east. Even in the depths of "winter", Jogja's climate is very pleasant. The dry season is a very comfortable max of low 30s by day, down to overnight lows of low 20s and even occasionally mid-to-high teens. Certainly colder in the middle of the night than in wet season, but not noticeably so during most days. Right now, at 9:30pm on 22 August, I'm sitting in the house with doors wide open, the breeze drifting in from the sawah, in shorts and a t-shirt. The weather app on my phone says the current temperature is 25 deg C, with an apparent temp of 27. There have a been a few nights where I have been cold, and needed to drag a light blanket over the top of the thin sheet that is our only other covering. A couple of times I even needed to turn the bed fan off, too. Dingin - cold!   One thing's for sure: the Facebook posts from back home of mornings clocking in at -8 degrees C sure don't have us rushing to get back!

One thing we are definitely missing is cooking. The joy of a home cooked meal here cannot be overstated, as it is drastically less frequent than back home in Canberra. The food from warungs and even restaurants is so incredibly cheap here, it is actually more expensive to buy ingredients and cook yourself. But when we do, it is like eating happiness.  Pumpkin soup, chicken casserole, spaghetti bolognese, even simple cheese and salad sandwiches are a sure-fire cure for the blues. Here's Charlie helping his Mum prepare corn fritters.



And here he is, enjoying home made banana 'ice cream' - nothing but pure frozen banana put through an ice cream maker, sprinkled with Milo. Tropical climate dessert awesomeness.
















As you can probably tell, Charlie is doing really well. He has settled in comfortably here, and to my knowledge hasn't yet requested to go "home" to Canberra. He spends his weekdays at an the amazing playgroup we found a couple months after we arrived. It's a Waldorf model playgroup (or Steiner, for those more familiar with that name), so the guiding principles are learning through play in a natural environment. Other schools we looked resembled concrete playgrounds with welded metal play equipment and a rather rigid teaching structure. I'm sure the 8am Monday English lesson and the 9:30am Wednesday maths lesson are excellent - but our son is 3 and half years old. Getting covered in mud and building a sailboat out of half a coconut shell, a piece of bamboo and some material off-cuts is what we see as being more important at this stage in his development. So this playgroup (named Kulila, in Kasongan) is ideal. Non-exclusive religiously, with children from a range of nationalities (many with one Indonesian parent), it is a place for Charlie to learn and grow and play with other kids, in a forest-like garden rather than a concrete one. He loves it and we love it. Here he is, playing with two of his playgroup buddies, and helping one of the gurus (teachers) move the wheelbarrow.



When Charlie's not at playgroup, we sometimes find it a challenge to entertain him. In Canberra it was easy enough to just jump on the bike and ride along a nice bike path to a nearby park or playground. Jogja doesn't really have parks. Or bike paths. Or playgrounds. Not open aired, free-to-use ones, anyway. There are plenty of shopping malls, many of which include a kids play area for which a ticket costs the equivalent of about $3 AUD - rather expensive by Jogja local standards. But worth it for struggling parents. These play areas are invariably obscenely loud, crowded, and all rather  similar. And he's usually the only white child there, sometimes resulting in his being showered in attention from other kids, especially slightly older girls who like to mother him - which is both good and bad, as I will perhaps discuss in a separate post.

Another favourite way to occupy an hour or two is to put him on his green bike and ride around the village. Sometimes he stops to play with other kids, but as often as not he's happy just riding around and finding driveways or slight inclines in the road, so he can go naik, naik, naik (up, up, up) and turun (down). Here is a picture of him riding his green balance bike, which he's very nearly too big for now.

It's not all about Charlie though. My wife is doing well with all of her endeavours. She has completed her language immersion semester at UGM (Universitas Gadja Mada), and is now focussed on her Midwifery honours year by correspondence with Uni of Canberra back home.Well, that and growing a new addition to our family. Hardly surprising to those who know her, she is excelling in all these pursuits. While it has taken a while to put all the ideas together in a structured way, the insights gained through being immersed in this very rich and different culture coupled with her own first-hand perspective as an expectant ex-pat mother and western-university-qualified midwife in Indonesia are providing a sense of direction for her thesis. The pregnancy and our experiences are worthy of further explanation in a later blog, so for now you'll have to settle for a photo of  my lovely wife, glowing at about 7 months pregnant.

I could perhaps talk about my own experiences, but this post is already getting a bit long and I need to leave something for future episodes! In the interim, here's a selfie of me in my new(-ish) specs.

And a funky retro car, just because Jogja's cool like that.

And finally, a photo I took of a bird house, sunflowers and a view across the sawah to the south of the Yabbiekayu bungalows. When you stop and remind yourself that you are living somewhere else, you notice again just how beautiful the place is.

There's a lot to love about being here.

#100HappyDays - Day 42 - Catching up with Amy

Spent a bit of time catching up with Amy. Was really nice to speak face to face with a dear friend from back home. It's easy to forget, living in a country where you don't speak the language and spending a lot of time with a three-year-old, how important adult company really is.

#100HappyDays - Day 35 - Proud Dad, and photo fun

The son continues to amaze us every day with his rapidly advancing mind. He's three years, and about four and a half years old. And can count to over 100 in two languages (over a thousand in English!), sing songs in Indonesian, and is already showing an ability to read and write. I've never been a parent before - perhaps this normal, I don;t know. But he certainly amazes me.

Only 9 (or maybe 10) of the letters on this page were written by his mum. The rest - all Charlie.

I accidentally took this photo in our bathroom, playing around with depth-of-field. I like how this turned out (without any editing at all).











When I corrected the camera settings, here is actually what I was trying to shoot.

#100HappyDays - Day 27 - Home Invasion 2 (reciprocation)

It was only a matter of time.

There's never been much reason for the kids to visit Rumah Dave (Dave's house) - and I imagine that behind the gates and walls this house might have been seen with a sense of a mystery. But now that Rumah Dave has become Rumah Charlie, curiosity has conquered fear.

At first it was just a couple of girls, who approached with apparent trepidation, asking from the yard if Charlie would like to bermain (play). But today they ventured in through the gates, to door step. Chartlie wheeled over his toy box, and before long they were sitting inside on the floor, sharing his colouring books and other toys.

It's beautiful to watch him interacting with other kids despite the language barrier. But when you think about it it's not all that different to playing with toddlers back home, where they are all only just learning English.

#100HappyDays - Day 26 - Kesuma

Dinner at Kesuma Restaurant tonight. The food is so good here. Indonesian, but with a depth and complexity to it that distinguishes it from the regular fare.

When Charlie was done with his usual activity of stoning to death (or severe irritation) the fish in the pond, he took to sitting on the front step, counting in bahasa Indonesia the motorbikes as they went past. No wonder he can count well beyond seratus (one hundred)!

#100HappyDays - Day 20 - Chilled out cherub

Another day, another baby massage - this time while Nanna and Poppy are getting their relax on in the room next door. And again, reaching out for the comfort of Dad's hand is just so special.
(playing catch up, as I've missed a few days)

#100HappyDays - Day 18 - Rice and joy

Father and son had fun making and playing with coloured rice, but the arrival of Nanna and Poppy in the afternoon was just pure joy for all of us - especially for Charlie.

#100HappyDays - Day 14 - a hand to hold

Went for a family massage yesterday, which on its own is worthy of gratitude. But Charlie lying on the massage table next to me for his "baby massage", looking over and reaching out for my hand to hold - those sorts of moments make parenting worthwhile.